“It wasn’t meant to be like this.”
If I were to break down every line in this song, it would be to tell you a story in a rather… passionate… manner.
This song was easy to write, harder to filter and consolidate what I wanted to say, and harder still to take time to explain in this letter. (For context: This is attempt#6.) You see, this is the only song on the album not solely based on my experience, but of someone close to me. In my mind, that’s the hardest experience to endure emotionally, when you love someone deeply.
Album: "For My Peace", Single | Track Two: Selfishly | SelahLuke.com
Watching a strong, incredible, self-confident woman be torn down, berated, and abused for years feels overwhelmingly helpless from the outside. I have been honored to be that true friend she trusts to drop everything and go hold her while she cries, take her to the hospital after midnight, encourage her and discredit the lies, support however needed (even when that means practicing self-restraint though jail time sounds worth it), help her pick up the pieces over and over again, provide a soft place to land… but I am furious that I have to.
“You went and cheated on me but still have the audacity
To monitor my text and calls, turn your anger physical
You dare to call it love”
Domestic abuse is one of the most disgusting and truly pathetic types of abuse, and the trauma from having the person you love be the one to cause you the most pain? No. Then throw kids in the mix?? No. Just.. no.
The person you choose to spend your life with should not tell you you’re worthless almost daily.
The person you choose to spend your life with should not leave bruises on your body or soul.
The person you choose to spend your life with should not attempt to control every aspect of your life, and accuse you of terrible things they have done.
The person you choose to spend your life with should not make you regret living.
No. Exceptions.
Here’s the thing about abusers….
They only see what you can do FOR them, and how they can exploit you. You don’t even matter to them if you’re not fulfilling their needs. They say “I love you” out of control, or temporary feeling. But that’s not love. It’s selfishness. They beat you down so they can feel better about themselves. Abusers can’t love, because they can’t love themselves. They don’t even know the true meaning of the word.
“Honey, it’s abuse, can’t you see? You only love me selfishly”
Love takes work, and is a healthy partnership.
Love is shown in action, it grows to new heights.
Love doesn’t hurt, it heals those involved.
Love isn’t selfish, it’s generous.
Healthy relationships ARE possible. They are worth it. Allowing yourself to find that adoring partner is the greatest gift you can give yourself and those you love. Don’t settle for an abuser. Don’t stay stuck. Graveyards are filled with bodies of those who never got help. Please know, you can choose your life. You have value. Take a chance on freedom, not abuse.
“I’ve loved you patiently, but now I’m done…”
